Brian Wilson of the Beach Boys, w/ Schizophrenia, Nails It in Front of 80,000 People at Bonnaroo: "Sail on Sailor": A Tale of Feeling the Sting of Severe Mental Illness
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FfnZdGUVSGw////////////
Look there and see him: almost 40 yrs ago, writing of scrapping w/ madness: sitting second from the right in the pic, next to his cousin, Dennis Wilson: handsome, remarkable, unravaged by schizophrenia or the medications associated with controlling it...yet. The sequelae of the disease was on view at Bonnaroo this past weekend: the flat affect, the lack of luster. Still the kernel of his genius sitting there, like a diamond, completely altered but glowing, unnoticed yet unabated:
I seldom stumble, never crumble Try to tumble, life's a rumble
Feel the stinging I've been given
Never ending, unrelenting Heartbreak searing, always fearing
Never caring, persevering
Sail on, sail on, sailor
**************
This past weekend I loaded up my old pick-up w/ myself and my obstreperous 17 yr old son, headed off to Bonnaroo, 4 hours due east, to camp out w/ 80,000 other audiophiles to witness: Radiohead (astounding); Alice Cooper (I felt like I was being poked w/ dozens of pencils'eraser heads so sonically mind bending was the music---that, and the snakes and the beautiful blonde lead guitar player)...and the Beach Boys at 3 pm on Sunday afternoon.
The sky was threatening; the sound system was absolutely unrivaled. Over the entire acre you could have heard the thinnest sound. The young women were literally crying on the edge of the stage...as these 60-something yr old guys pulled forward a life-time of amazing music---modern Gregorian chants---and astoundingly Brian Wilson----the brains behind the Beach Boys for all these decades-----with Mike Love doing the 'stand by your man' for so many years-----fronting their music for all these years so they would not be forgotten due to the SPMI, Severe Persistent Mental Illness of Brian Wilson.
They played a cut from Wilson's 'SMILE' album which is a testament to a man who has not thrown in the towel albeit being ravaged by a mental illness. You could see it as he sat at his piano, his poker face. You witnessed his mental illness as he played guitar towards the last part of the concert, as without his instrument he wandered around on stage lost and without a rudder. Flat affect: out of his water.....still he managed the matter.
And he sang, 'Sail on Sailor',a tale, I assume, of trying to surf the crashing waves associated with his severe mental illness. The tune is still ringing in my head: the harmony, the syncopated beat. The beautiful music of a madman without fear doing this amazing art. A madman who refused to be broken apart on the rocks of life.
It was an iconic study of a family, that family being the Beach Boys----whom, so many years ago hoped to rival the Beatles. Given their astounding harmonies and chord-jumping, who could debate that this could not have been so?
But then Brian Wilson was mauled by schizophrenia.
I watched him closely at Bonnaroo. I find no pics on you-tube of him at Bonnaroo. He sat all the way to the left of the stage: stilted, barely moving behind his electronic grand white piano. He sang. On the you-tube videos he goes unmentioned/ unphotographed. He wasn't interesting enough, far over there to the left----oh, yeah-----the genius schizophrenic guy-----not scenic enough.
But he's the one that created the harmonies that blow your mind and he described what he was going through in these songs:
Sail On, Sailor
I sailed an ocean, unsettled ocean
Through restful waters and deep commotion
Often frightened, unenlightened
Sail on, sail on sailor
I wrest the waters, fight Neptune's waters
Sail through the sorrows of life's marauders
Unrepenting, often empty
Sail on, sail on sailor
Caught like a sewer rat alone but I sail
Bought like a crust of bread, but oh do I wail
I seldom stumble, never crumble Try to tumble, life's a rumble
Feel the stinging I've been given
Never ending, unrelenting Heartbreak searing, always fearing
Never caring, persevering
Sail on, sail on, sailor
I work the seaways, the gale-swept seaways
Past shipwrecked daughters of wicked waters
Uninspired, drenched and tired
Wail on, wail on, sailor
Always needing, even bleeding Never feeding all my feelings
Damn the thunder, must I blunder There's no wonder all I'm under
Stop the crying and the lying And the sighing and my dying
Sail on, sail on sailor
Sail on, sail on sailor
Sail on, sail on sailor
Sail on, sail on sailor
Sail on, sail on sailor
Sail on, sail on sailor
Sail on, sail on sailor
Look there and see him: almost 40 yrs ago, writing of scrapping w/ madness: sitting second from the right in the pic, next to his cousin, Dennis Wilson: handsome, remarkable, unravaged by schizophrenia or the medications associated with controlling it...yet. The sequelae of the disease was on view at Bonnaroo this past weekend: the flat affect, the lack of luster. Still the kernel of his genius sitting there, like a diamond, completely altered but glowing, unnoticed yet unabated:
I seldom stumble, never crumble Try to tumble, life's a rumble
Feel the stinging I've been given
Never ending, unrelenting Heartbreak searing, always fearing
Never caring, persevering
Sail on, sail on, sailor
**************
This past weekend I loaded up my old pick-up w/ myself and my obstreperous 17 yr old son, headed off to Bonnaroo, 4 hours due east, to camp out w/ 80,000 other audiophiles to witness: Radiohead (astounding); Alice Cooper (I felt like I was being poked w/ dozens of pencils'eraser heads so sonically mind bending was the music---that, and the snakes and the beautiful blonde lead guitar player)...and the Beach Boys at 3 pm on Sunday afternoon.
The sky was threatening; the sound system was absolutely unrivaled. Over the entire acre you could have heard the thinnest sound. The young women were literally crying on the edge of the stage...as these 60-something yr old guys pulled forward a life-time of amazing music---modern Gregorian chants---and astoundingly Brian Wilson----the brains behind the Beach Boys for all these decades-----with Mike Love doing the 'stand by your man' for so many years-----fronting their music for all these years so they would not be forgotten due to the SPMI, Severe Persistent Mental Illness of Brian Wilson.
They played a cut from Wilson's 'SMILE' album which is a testament to a man who has not thrown in the towel albeit being ravaged by a mental illness. You could see it as he sat at his piano, his poker face. You witnessed his mental illness as he played guitar towards the last part of the concert, as without his instrument he wandered around on stage lost and without a rudder. Flat affect: out of his water.....still he managed the matter.
And he sang, 'Sail on Sailor',a tale, I assume, of trying to surf the crashing waves associated with his severe mental illness. The tune is still ringing in my head: the harmony, the syncopated beat. The beautiful music of a madman without fear doing this amazing art. A madman who refused to be broken apart on the rocks of life.
It was an iconic study of a family, that family being the Beach Boys----whom, so many years ago hoped to rival the Beatles. Given their astounding harmonies and chord-jumping, who could debate that this could not have been so?
But then Brian Wilson was mauled by schizophrenia.
I watched him closely at Bonnaroo. I find no pics on you-tube of him at Bonnaroo. He sat all the way to the left of the stage: stilted, barely moving behind his electronic grand white piano. He sang. On the you-tube videos he goes unmentioned/ unphotographed. He wasn't interesting enough, far over there to the left----oh, yeah-----the genius schizophrenic guy-----not scenic enough.
But he's the one that created the harmonies that blow your mind and he described what he was going through in these songs:
Sail On, Sailor
I sailed an ocean, unsettled ocean
Through restful waters and deep commotion
Often frightened, unenlightened
Sail on, sail on sailor
I wrest the waters, fight Neptune's waters
Sail through the sorrows of life's marauders
Unrepenting, often empty
Sail on, sail on sailor
Caught like a sewer rat alone but I sail
Bought like a crust of bread, but oh do I wail
I seldom stumble, never crumble Try to tumble, life's a rumble
Feel the stinging I've been given
Never ending, unrelenting Heartbreak searing, always fearing
Never caring, persevering
Sail on, sail on, sailor
I work the seaways, the gale-swept seaways
Past shipwrecked daughters of wicked waters
Uninspired, drenched and tired
Wail on, wail on, sailor
Always needing, even bleeding Never feeding all my feelings
Damn the thunder, must I blunder There's no wonder all I'm under
Stop the crying and the lying And the sighing and my dying
Sail on, sail on sailor
Sail on, sail on sailor
Sail on, sail on sailor
Sail on, sail on sailor
Sail on, sail on sailor
Sail on, sail on sailor
Sail on, sail on sailor
posted by Marsha V. Hammond, PhD at 12:34 AM
2 Comments:
Brian isn't in the pic on that youtube video - that's Mike Love between his cousins Carl & Dennis Wilson, and Al Jardine sat front (our left) opposite Bruce Johnston.
and that photo's from about 69-70 maybe 71 - Brian Wilson had already had several breakdowns, and at least one schizophrenic/paranoid delusional episode by then and if it's from '71 was already struggling with severe depression & total social withdrawal. According to interviews his wife's given (w/ him) and recent (ish) reportage, he was previously misdiagnosed and is actually schizoaffective bipolar type & some of his visible problems were caused by his psychiatrist deliberately 'treating' him with over high doses of inappropriate medication so he could control him and get a cut from the music.
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